We got a late start on our Halloween festivities. This was the first time my two year old really decorated pumpkins.
First he painted a white one, while I cleaned out and carved another. Of
course, he soon lost interest and wanted to do the same thing mommy was
doing. So I cut the bottom out of a small one he picked earlier today, and demonstrated how to clean the seeds and gunk out. He followed bravely. I thought that he would be weirded out by the texture, since he usually is kind of a clean freak about things getting on his hands. He went to town hollowing his out while I worked on my second. I sat a bowl out for him to put the seeds in just like I was. This time he didn't want to follow my lead. Dumped all of the seeds on the table and began playing with them. I almost felt irritated at the mess, but allowed it and realized he was learning through exploration. He used the spoon to dig some more guts out, before scooping the seeds back into the pumpkin. I had an urge to tell him that he was doing it wrong. Was annoyed by my thought process. Who says it's wrong? I want him to be unique and confident in his choices. I want him to be willing to go against the norm if he can or should. It made me chuckle. How simple and silly, that something like that would encourage so much thought. It's fun to watch him learn and be himself.
As a parent, you have to allow freedom to an extent, in order to encourage decision making and the creation of a personality. I try to give him choices on a regular basis. Picking out which shirt he wants to wear, what he wants to drink, what book he wants to read, ect. There's so much that is predetermined in DNA. Right down to the way a person crosses their arms or hands. Then so much more is learned by observing and listening. The formation of speech, word choice, common sense, manners, life style, work ethics, attitude, and morals. Why not allow him to do things "backwards" if he chooses to?
Then my mind carries on the thoughts...what if giving him freedom of choice neglects to teach him the importance of following rules? I think that both can be obtained. It doesn't have to be so black and white. Certain rules have to be enforced for safety; his and others. And really, that's my main concern with "rules". Just as laws were started for citizen's safety. I think they were taken over board. It's become a thing of pushing beliefs on others. There shouldn't be laws about who can and can't marry; same sex marriage prohibitions. What reason could there be to that other then someone believes it's "sinful" or "wrong", so they prohibit it. That defeats the purpose. It doesn't allow the freedom every individual should have. It seems the same unjust rule making occurs in families often. From my own experience, that just makes a person, specifically a child feel more distant from their parents. Makes them feel unloved and judged.
My mother, whom I refer to by her first name usually, but won't here I guess, refuses to let my now 20 year old brother do the dishes at her home. She wants them to be done "right", so doesn't risk letting him practice to learn. It rubs me wrong to think about it. He is an adult now and hasn't had the opportunity to learn many things that he should have known by now since the option wasn't there.
Last week, my son finally overcame his fear of the vacuum when it's turned on. He was pushing it around while off, and I let him know that I had to vacuum my office and was going to turn it on. I warned him it would be loud, but it was okay, that it couldn't hurt him. He firmly gripped the handle, and didn't let go despite his somewhat startled response. Of course I kept my cool, but applauded him. And he started pushing it around again, making his way out of my office to the hall. "Now back it up so we can finish this room", I said. And he did, despite a bit of difficulty. Then he pushed it in the same place, right back out. I felt this urge to get the task done. An impatience with waiting and it being done incorrectly. If I learned that from my mother, then displaying it will just carry on that type of parenting when he's in my shoes 18 years from now. Plus, I hate the idea of him feeling like he can't do anything right because of my obsessive tenancies. I don't want him to feel inadequate like I always did around her.
Anyways, totally venturing off subject...you know they are selling Obama and Romney masks at walmart for Halloween. I don't recall ever seeing other presidents masks. Well, maybe I did see a George Bush one years ago. But, uhm. Don't you think that's a little bit dangerous?!?! Look at how much controversy is happening as a result of the election as is. I can imagine the masks causing some negative feedback at the mouths of ignorant adults. Hell, I'm not wearing a Obama mask, and still have to listen to the fucking republicans rant about how they're going to vote for Mitt the Twit all the time. More annoying yet is when people stand by him without even knowing the facts. Do you know your facts?!? Are you going to vote? I hope so. I never used to think my vote counted. But I'd hate to feel guilty for not voting when the united states is crumbling even more at the hands of a lying selfish man. When's Hillary Clinton going to run again? I can't help but think the world would be a better place under a woman's reign. :)
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